Friday, September 10, 2010

Interesting site - Uncyclopedia

Came across this site by mistake but for those who are interested in humour, it should be worth a visit.

I was googling for a wikipedia entry and clicked on one of the search results by mistake. It opened up an entry in Uncyclopedia which is a spoof of Wikipedia (the title says: Uncyclopedia - the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit J )

URL - http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page

Some of the entries are funny, some boorish, some outright distasteful but I did find a couple of gems.

Jinxed destination

Thenmala is an ideal weekend getaway around 70 Kms from Trivandrum. Easily accessible from the city (just a two hour drive), you can cover the destination in a day trip from the city – though ideally one ought to ideally stay overnight to enjoy the nature to the fullest.

Thrice we have made an attempt to visit Thenmala and each time the trip never really took off. The first time we made it as far as 20 Km from Trivandrum. By then one of the travellers took severely ill and we headed right back. The second time we did 30 Km before a sudden heavy downpour meant that we had to return (no point in going there if you are holed up in the car all day).

After a long gap, we thought we would be third time lucky and made plans with another family. This time we did indeed make it to Thenmala (Honey-hill is the literal English translation of Then-mala). We reached there well ahead of the planned time and straightaway bought tickets to the various attractions there. After spending an hour and a half in the ‘adventure zone’, we went to the deer park. The kids had a great time there and post lunch we were planning to visit the other attractions. Just before exploring the deer park, we decided to climb up the tree house in the park. As our friend was climbing down from the tree house, she slipped and sprained / twisted her leg. There was no point in remaining there as she was in considerable pain and needed medical attention. We rushed back to Trivandrum.

I have not given up yet – though the destination seems to be jinxed, it has been getting progressively better. Next time I am sure we will spend a whole day there. If so, I promise, I will write a mini travelogue in this blog.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Onam

Last year around the time of Onam I had written about the celebrations in Technopark.

Earlier today I was reviewing what I had written then with the happenings in the park this year. Happy to report that the tradition continues . The week before the Onam break was busy as ever with the various organsiations vying with one another to outdo each other with their pookalams and other celebrations.

Our company celebrated in the usual grand fashion last Friday (20th Aug) . Since I was busy I could not watch the programs live (pookalams, mavelis, pazham theeta malsaram, kottu etc) but of course I did not miss the sadhya that day !

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Wave your flag

The football fever seems to have got to practically everyone. I had jokingly mentioned to my daughter about the time (1986) when my cousins and I were so football crazy that we even started making flags in anticipation of some of the games (see my blog entry on June 11, 2010 titled “Gooooooaaaal !!’ for details)

My daughter wanted to know the whole story and then wanted to make flags for this world cup. This weekend we proceeded to do exactly that. Truth be told even I was excited to participate in this activity.

Wifey cut down some branches from the ‘Muringa’ tree . The stouter twigs among them were our flag poles. She also covered the chosen twigs with cello-tape. The leaves of course were not wasted as they were cooked for our dinner curry on Saturday night.. I drew the outlines of the flags on A4 size paper. Nandu and her acha-chan (grand father) did the honours of painting (colouring) the flags.

The whole thing got Nandu excited. I am hoping that I can use these tactics to get her interested in other sports as well so that she will watch with me (or at least let me watch in peace)!

Wonder if I can do something similar for F1?!!? Maybe next weekend’s project could be painting the Red Bulls and Mclarens ?

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Barber Nazi !

One of my favourite sitcoms in the nineties was Seinfeld. The setting for the sitcom was simple. But what made it fabulous were the simplicity of the plots, the definitions of the characters and most of all the script. The script writers would take mundane ordinary things and create an extraordinary plot with sharp punch line. The characters would deliver the lines almost perfectly.

One of the things that stood out in the show were the usage of catch phrases that themselves had a cult following. In fact Jerry Seinfeld later wrote a best selling book called 'Seinlanguage' that included all the catch phrases.

A few memorable examples -

're-gifter' - a person who receives as a gift, has no use for it and gifts the item to someone else

'close talker' - someone who stands embarrassingly close to you during a conversation

'soup Nazi' - this was the nickname of one character who ran a soup shop. The soup was very tasty but the owner was a very strict and mean person. If he did not like the way the patron behaved, he would shout 'no soup for you'. This last statement became a buzz word in itself.

Why I am writing all this here and why now? Well, earlier this week I got a haircut at my regular place and the barber's demeanour and behaviour reminded me of the 'soup Nazi' and of Seinfeld.

I have been frequenting this barber shop for nearly 25 years now. In the past whenever I have been in Trivandrum, I have gone to his place for a haircut. For the past four years that I have stayed here, I have not gone anywhere else in Trivandrum (for a haircut that is !).

While he always goes about his work diligently and sincerely, he is very much against change. Also, he is a very strict person and extremely sensitive to comments - especially on the subject of cutting hair!

The shop is located strategically at a major intersection. The mushrooming of apartments in the area and upward mobility of his potential clientele might have prodded a slightly more proactive person to modernise his saloon, spruce up the place, hire staff to expand operations and start charging a premium. Not so our hero. He is still the same old person working in the same old fashion. The only time change impacted him was when the authorities had to demolish his shop to make way for road widening. He moved to a better and bigger place next door and proceeded to quickly make it look as messy as his old shop!

Why do his clients patronise him? Simple - he does an excellent job of what he does: that is cut hair!

Now back to the soup Nazi business, I was waiting in line and thinking about the fact that I ought to tell the barber this time to crop more hair in the area above the right part of the forehead. Otherwise in a month's time it could get messy. Just as I was thinking about this, the customer whom he was attending to asked him to do that very thing! 'Cheta, can you please cut here' he said indicating the area above the right forehead.

Our friend stopped the clip-clipping of the scissors, took a step back and let loose on the customer - 'Are you the barber or am I?. I will cut hair as I please. If I listen to you now, you will come back later saying it looks bad' he was getting more animated with each statement he made. ' If you cannot be silent when I am cutting hair, you can go someplace else'

Needless to say, when my turn came, I hopped on to the chair and did not utter a single word till he finished, then I quietly paid up and left!

Next time I need a haircut, I am sure I will go back to same old saloon. Some habits die hard - even if the barber is a 'soup Nazi'!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

A short story

Note - First a disclaimer! Readers please bear with me. This is my first attempt at writing a story -thankfully a very small one you might say! The idea for the story line came to me when I was driving back home from office one night. I bounced the idea off my wife and she suggested some additions as well. Well, if you don't like my story, now you know whom to blame :-). Back to the story then –

Kannan's story

Hello! I have been told that when meeting someone for the first time, the polite thing to do is to introduce oneself first. So here goes - My name is Kannan and I used to spend most of my time at the Sri Ganesh restaurant adjacent to the Pazhavangadi Ganapati temple in Trivandrum. My major work was to clean up after patrons who ate at the restaurant.

I am usually very serious about my work. And that's why I was in the good books of the supervisor Murugan - or so I thought.

Murugan-annan is normally a nice guy when the proprietor is not around. At the fag end of the night near closing time, he used to let me have whatever food I wanted though others were normally entitled to only idlis. It is not that he did not know - many a time he had seen me having my share of puris, chappati and dosa - but then he usually flashed an understanding fatherly smile. Once when I was having a dosa, he even came over to where I was and served me chutney ! I was thrilled.

But Murugan-annan was a different person when the proprietor Mr Appaswamy was around. Or for that matter even when others were nearby. At such times, he used to speak to me in very harsh language and I felt I was unwanted there. Anyway I took it in my stride and carried on the next day as though nothing happened. The job was good, the food free and the best part was that I had free accommodation (at night I slept in the restaurant) as well. You could say that I performed the role of security as well.

Though I hardly ever used to go out and had seen very little of the world, the world used to come to in the form of the people who come to eat at Sri Ganesh.

And yes, the regular patrons, there were many of them. There was the elderly retired gentleman who visited the temple at 7 AM sharp. At 8 AM would be at his usual seat on the corner table having coffee (without sugar), 2 Idlis and a Vada. He was also there in the evening at 7:30 PM (post another temple visit) and would have 2 chappatis and kurma for dinner. I have often wondered about why he ate breakfast and dinner there. Did he not have a family? If he did not, what about lunch? Did he go elsewhere? If he did have a family, did his kids thrown him out in his old age? What about his wife?

Another set of regulars were three spoilt kids from the neighbourhood. They must have been about the same age as me. They visited during the evenings after school. They used to order snacks and ice cream. These kids never treated me well. I tried to avoid them but if they chanced on me they never failed to prod and tease me. When they were around I used to make myself useful in the kitchen and returned to the dining area only after I was sure that they had left.

Then there was the fat priest of the Ganapathy temple - another person who was not consistent in his behaviour. Whenever I used to get spare time, I used to rush across to the temple to pay my respects to the Lord. Many a time, when the priest saw me there, he recognised me and handed out the prasadam of the day be it modakkam or appam. Truth be told, the prasadam drew me to the temple again and again.

The priest was a regular patron of the restaurant as well. He normally used to come after the ucha (afternoon) puja. He regular order was for unlimited thali meals (the right choice for he used to eat quite a lot !) and he used spill rice and curry all around the plate. It was a nightmare to clean up after him!

The first time I saw the priest at the restaurant, I was extremely pleased and went up to him and smiled. In return I got a glare and a mouthful of swear words. All I could do was to make a retreat and suffer in silence.

Of course like I said earlier, Murugan-annan was the only one who looked out for me. Even the other chappies who worked there ill treated me when Murugan-annan was not looking. It was not physical abuse (because I was usually too fast for them) but verbal abuse.

One night however, something happened that turned my life upside down. Late at night, I was in a corner peacefully having some food. Murugan-annan and Mr Appaswamy were closing the account books for the day.

Suddenly Mr Appaswamy glanced up and saw me. He turned to Murugan-annan and said sternly - "How many times have I told you to buy a mouse trap? Well, if you won't, I will. Tomorrow I am going to get one myself, catch that pesky mouse and drown it".

That night I fled from Sri Ganesh restaurant and have never been back.

Speeding

May be due to the increase in road accidents in Trivandrum district, the traffic and highway police appear to have increased the deployment of radar guns to monitor and ticket erring vehicles. The fines for speeding are quite steep (Rs. 300 for four wheelers and Rs. 500 for two wheelers) and should be good enough to deter budding racers from stepping on the gas.

However earlier this week I noticed something which may indicate that the rules are not the same for all. This incident occurred on the Trivandrum by-pass just after the toll. The vehicle with the radar gun was strategically parked 1 KM north of the MGM school. Apparently they had already caught many offenders. Thankfully I was cruising well within the speed limit when I crossed the area. However as I was driving downhill an 'official' vehicle sped past me at a speed which was definitely exceeding the limit. Of course the vehicle was not stopped and within seconds it had disappeared into the distance.

Different strokes for different folks, maybe?!?

Rameshwaram - Part 2

Day 2 - 20th December 2022 This being the only full day we had at Rameswaram, we decided to start early to make the most of it.   Dhanushkod...